Maxximillian Dafoe

Archive for the ‘poo poll’ Category

Polling for Little Brown Fish

In poo poll on June 24, 2008 at 7:04 pm

While discussing possible angles for a parody sketch, Patrick brought up the idea of our protagonist committing suicide by- get this: eating poop. I wrinkle my nose and snicker at the thought of an elegantly dressed man at formal table, silk napkin in lap with a nice glass of sancerre, fork and knife in hand to partake of a rich (and steaming), buttery log. I’m smiling but Patrick wonders why I’m not laughing hysterically until he figures that I, simpleton I am, don’t know that one can die from eating ass kabobs. I jostle him, “No, you can’t die from eating a turd”. He swears I’m wrong so we do what comes naturally to two adults having a ridiculous conversation. We call my mom. At work. Without premise, I tell her that Patrick and I are having a debate and that we’ve called for her opinion on the matter. “I say no. Green and sideways,” she retorts. Moms are amazing. With no information, she has still come up with the right answers…

We lay the question to her and she imparts her wisdom, “No. I don’t think you can die from eating… some. Um. Uh, ‘blind eels’. Eeeew and gross. But you’re not gonna die.” Patrick throws his head back and howls about how wrong we are. I suggest that we call his mom, in Massachusetts, too. He, of course, insists that I ask her, scoundrel that he is. I can’t even say the word poop without laughing. I am even laughing as I type this….. p o o p. Hilarious!

You could have eaten a sandwich by the time I was able to get the question out through my laughter. After a few sniggles of her own and careful consideration, Mrs. T says, “Well, you’d get very, very sick. I think I heard/read that it can cause someone to go insane…” (Well, that is reason enough for me.) “But, we’re just talking one serving, if you will, not a lengthy diet of bun fudge,” I remind her. “No,” she decides, “You wouldn’t die”.

Of course, if we really wanted answers, we’d go to google[y moogley] to get the straight dope but it is much more fun to ask everyone else what their off the cuff opinion is. So, without being a smarty pants and researching the matter: What do you think?

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